Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
