My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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