hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
