Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
