Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
