i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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