pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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