Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
