when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
