She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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