I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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