I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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