I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
