goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
