the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
