i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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