Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
