im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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