I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
