I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
