Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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