I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
