I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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