He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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