Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
