If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
