I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
