Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
