I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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