Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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