put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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