I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
