But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
