WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
