Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
