Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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