I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
