She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
