I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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