Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
