my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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