Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
