i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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