I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
