I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
