she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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