Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
