I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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