Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were trust falling into bushes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
