come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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