I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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