school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
