Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
