I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
