Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
