No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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