Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
