Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
