is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
