She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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